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show notes
Counseling, Caregiving, & Queerness in sacred spaces| a conversation with Katybeth Eller-Rawley
Katybeth Eller-Rawley, therapist & life coach, takes us through her story of leaving evangelicalism, loving Jesus, coming out, falling in love, and the safe spaces she wants to create for the queer community. She shares what she's learning as a caregiver to her chronically ill wife, and how it differs from being a professional counselor.
Join us as we listen, learn, and find hope in her story.
Mentions:
that evangelical college we both went to
Sam & Lindsey Marks, first episode of our Chronic Illness & Caregivers series
s02 e025 | Taboo Talks Around HIV & cancer| a conversation with Daniel G. Garza
CONTENT WARNING: sex, sexual health, addiction.
In this episode, we discuss sexual health, AIDS/HIV, sex, and addiction. Please listen when you can fully engage, and use discretion about who may be listening with you.
Daniel is a natural entertainer and his openness about typically taboo subjects is disarming and refreshing. In this episode, Daniel & Brooke talk about the journey to his diagnosis of HIV and anal cancer, his advocacy work, and all the many things he does now to make a difference in the lives of the people around him.
Mentions:
Grumpy Bunny & The Colors Game by Daniel G. Garza
s02 e024 | Liver Transplant & Recovery| a conversation with Alisha Emerald, part 2
On today's episode, we listen as Alisha tells her story from liver failure to transplant to recovery.
Mentions:
familial living donor
addiction
post-transplant hospital trauma
learning to eat
This episode mentions Frontline Coffee Co. Use code THEBONUSYEARS at checkout for *20% off.
s02 e023 | Glycogen Storage Disease| a conversation with Alisha Emerald, part 1
This week on The Bonus Years, Brooke chats with Alisha Emerald about her path to diagnosing Glycogen Storage Disease. Alisha has been sick her whole life and shares her journey to self-love and acceptance so authentically. Join us for this 3-part series you won't wanna miss.
Late-night munchies meet late-night delivery. Try Instacart! Get snacks in as fast as 30 minutes with Priority Delivery. Free delivery on your first order of $10+.
s02 e022 | The Heartfelt Help Foundation | a conversation with Denise Redeker
In the second part of my conversation with Denise, we talk about what prompted her to start The Heartfelt Help Foundation and how they are changing the financial game for those needing transplants in her area.
Facebook & Instagram: @heartfelthelpfoundation
Twitter: @heartfelthelpf
s02 e021 | how a baby gave her a new heart | a conversation with Denise Redeker, part 1
Today on The Bonus Years Podcast, I chat with Denise Redeker about how giving birth to her son changed her life through a heart transplant.
Denise is well-spoken and easy to listen to and her story is engaging. Join us as we talk transplant, death, coronavirus, and helping others.
s02 e020 | chronic illness & caregivers in relationships | a conversation with Sam & Lindsey Marks
This week, guests Sam & Lindsey Marks talk to us about what it's like to live with a chronic illness and what it's like to become a caregiver for your partner.
Sam & Lindsey bring a unique blend of laughter, love, and honesty to our conversation. This episode is a must-listen!
Instagram: @lindseyfaithdm & @samuelemarks
Mentions:
Enneagram
s02 e019 | liver failure, health inequity, transplant myths, and more! | a conversation with Kimberly Cooley
On today's episode of The Bonus Years, I have a conversation with liver transplant recipient Kimberly Cooley. We not only hear her transplant story, but what it's like living during a global pandemic in Mississippi. We're talking about some difficult topics like inequity in healthcare between black and white women, vaccinations, and common myths we encounter about organ donation.
Mentions:
University of Mississippi Medical Center (UMMC)
NextGen: Millennials & GenZ Mississippians respond to state issues
Common Organ Donor Myths, Debunked
s02 e018 | SPECIAL <> reflections on transplant day: celebrating 16 years
In this special episode, Brooke talks about the feelings she experiences during the anniversary of her liver transplant each year.
Brooke shares her yearly rituals & remembrances, as well as the personal dynamics of grief and gratitude she experiences.
Mentions:
@alisha.emerald, @danny_hiles86, @meghanmakingmoves
s02 e017 | transplant & the pandemic: how COVID-19 has affected people in the transplant community
We asked 6 different people who are a part of the transplant community one question: what's been the most challenging thing about the pandemic? and Brooke & Ben chime in with their own experiences too.
You'll hear from some amazing people:
Alisha Emerald || @alisha.emerald || 9 months post-liver transplant from Alberta, Canada
Meghan Smith || @meghanmakingmoves || 1.5 years post-liver transplant from Baltimore, Maryland
Jay Erve- heart & liver recipient (2008), awaiting kidney transplant from Naperville, Illinois
Jen Rohe || @thismommysheart || 3 years post-heart transplant from Lacey, Washington
Kimberly Cooley || @kmcooley || 3 years post-liver transplant from Mississippi
Cody Reynolds || @cody_reynolds87 || dad of a 21-month-old waiting for liver transplant
s02 e015 | special episode: national siblings day
For National Siblings Day, Brooke & her sister Allison tattle on each other. We talk about what season of the year represents us best, who’s the favorite kid, the fun of a long con, and Ben’s grandfatherly love for George W. Bush.
Mentions:
Miss Congeniality
Pocahontas
Kazoos
Fair vs. Equal
s02 e014: brooke’s liver transplant, part 3
blog post: the during, when hepatitis turns to liver failure
In part 3, Brooke moves from a rural hospital’s ICU to a transplant center and begins discussion of needing a transplant.
Mentions:
complimentary breakfast
McDonalds
Ben’s promise to edit the podcast and the realization he never does
Brooke’s love for food no matter the circumstance
s02 e013 | brooke’s liver transplant, part 2
blog post: the before, when things were not as normal
In part 2 of Brooke’s story, she goes back to school to sing and her liver gets worse.
Mentions:
Dinosaurs
Downton Abbey
s02 e012 | brooke’s liver tranpslant, part 1
blog post: the before, when things were normal
This is the beginning of Brooke's story. Not her life story, but the story of when her life changed. She'll be sharing it in parts, so she doesn't overwhelm herself, you, or the people who live this journey with her.
"I'm excited to share with you, but also nervous to discuss all the emotions, stories, grief, hope, and heartache my family has experienced."
Start listening here to follow an ambitious young woman in her 20s as she receives a sudden autoimmune hepatitis diagnosis that quickly led to liver failure.
Make sure to follow @bestselfco for great Insta content!
s02 e011 | when your liver fails: danny’s story
blog post here
This week Brooke is chatting with Wilson's disease survivor and liver transplant recipient Danny Hiles from the UK. You'll hear some talk of pranks, poo, and Cheetos, as well as some great advice on waiting for transplant and recovery. We also discuss what it's like to be high-risk during a global pandemic and how that affects one's mental health. Start with Danny’s blog post here.
What do major religions say about being an organ, eye, and tissue donor?
Follow Danny on Instagram
Donate to Danny’s organization, Musicians Supporting the Homeless
Read Danny’s blog
s02 e010 | isolation: what quarantine is doing to my mental health
Check out the full blog post here as Brooke shares 3 areas where isolation for almost a year has affected her: home, relationships, and feelings about herself.
We talk about fear versus fact, and how we make medical decisions during this strange time, including sending our kids back to school and whether we eat out and attend events.
We're learning to let go of the "shoulds" while managing all the feelings that come up including the ones of celebration and grief.
Listen in as we talk about these things and more with humor and authenticity.
s02 e009 | musings on the current political climate: i’m just a regular citizen
On this week’s podcast, we talk about Brooke’s disappointments with people claiming to be Christians blindly supporting Trump. Though unusually heavy on church politics discussion, there’s a lot to be shared about how God is love and people often ruin that.
Take a look at the corresponding article.
We love Best Self for keeping our lives organized. And now we’re affiliates with them! Click here to check out their great stuff, including the Ice Breakers we use each week.
If you want to read the blog I wrote after George Floyd’s murder that started my speaking out, check it out here.
In our conversation on the podcast, we talked about what it is to be an evangelical. Here’s a little more info about that. What is an Evangelical?
Ben shared an article on his social media account this week, and we promised it here. Evangelicals Face a Reckoning
s02 e008 | your questions, answered
We talk about chronic illness's effect on marriage, the Ocean’s movie franchise, adoption, favorite holiday flavors, our favorite thing about each other, parenting, morning routines, Ben’s obsession with Chick-Fil-A, and regret.
book mentioned on the podcast: The Miracle Morning
another great habit-building resource: The Morning Sidekick Journal
s02 e007 | memories over money: a better way to spend* the holidays
Talking about money sucks. No one likes talking about it unless they are spending it or have a lot of it. But hey, we can all stand to grow, so if you wanna read some money tips, read the blog post here.
We talked about lots of random things on this episode, so here are a lot of random links for you.
Those INCASE backpacks we loved. (and here).
That Jennie Gymnast gift that I remembered so well.
And…our Christmas playlist for your enjoyment…
s02 e006 | the dark side of the holidays: depression & how to fight it
As we launch into the holiday season, it’s like none other that we’ve experienced in our lifetime. We have more margin for family and friends but can’t be around them because of COVID-19.
Even people who haven’t experienced depression before have likely experienced it in some way since we started isolating more. In case depression is new to you, and you just happen to feel like you’re in a funk but don’t know why, here’s a little refresher, as well as some ways to fight against the darkness.
Read the detailed blog post here.
Other great reads:
s02 e005 | 7 holiday stressors & how to prepare
We are acutely aware that the holidays aren’t exactly what we expected as children. Some of the magic is gone, and extra stressors are surrounding us. Over the next few weeks, we will address different areas of our lives that affect us differently during this time of year and share some practical steps to design a life we love and enjoy, even when things are hard.
Read the corresponding blog post here.
s02 e004 | when your babies die, part 2: a real look at infant loss with Danette Nail
In part 2 of our conversation, Danette continues sharing her grief story with us. Brooke asks questions about mental health, grieving, relationships, and faith.
Read the corresponding blog post here.
s02 e003 | when your babies die, part 1 : a real look at infant loss with Danette Nail
This week, Danette shares the first part of her story as we take a look at pregnancy and infant loss. Brooke & Danette talk about what hurts, what helps, and what never gets better.
Check out the blog here.
s02 e002 | now i know & won’t let go : lessons from time away
Brooke shares a more in-depth perspective of what she's learned on her month-long sabbatical, transforming her thinking, living, and dreaming. In season 2, our podcasts correspond with the previous week's blog post.
If you’d like tools to help you change your habits, please reach out to brooke@bonusyearsblog.com
s02 e001 | changing course: life after trauma
In this first episode of Season 2, we go back and walk through Brooke's liver transplant experience, how life changed after that event, and how others walking through trauma can take steps toward healing.
Read the corresponding blog post here.
s01 e011 | season one wrap up: 10 things we’re grateful for in 2020
Here’s where we’re on Sabbatical. It’s perfect. Check out Seabrook here.
s01 e010 | special episode <> real talk about suicide with Sydnee Hetrick
For World Suicide Prevention Day, we have guest Sydnee Hetrick to talk about her personal experience with attempted suicide and how she came through it. This episode is a real conversation with difficult questions, and how we can find hope in the midst of pain.
Read the blog here.
Interested in the Enneagram? This is the test I recommend.
Fact check: Suicide is, in fact, the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.
s01 e009 | vision: what are you about?
We talk this week about having a vision for your family, yourself, and your marriage. We explore what a "word for the year" is, and how we implement our word to help us focus all year long.
Want a “me needs to take a nap” shirt?
Purchase Cody Churchill’s book, Busy: The Gospel in Light of Your Packed Schedule
s01 e008 | surviving quarantine: how do we get toilet paper?
Hear how we survived (are still surviving) quarantine. We talk about the changes that come with living through a global pandemic, including job loss, job change, health, parenting, and school. Also, learn what we want to be when we grow up.
Read the blog about Surviving Quarantine here >>
s01 e007 | defining & redefining calling: my guidance counselor was wrong
This week on the podcast, Ben and I talk about the word "calling," what it means and how we've redefined our calling over the years.
If you want to talk about calling, contact us to set up a free strategy session.
s01 e006| adoption process: paperwork, decisions, and births
This week we talk about how the adoption process went for each of our children, including home study, interviews, and meeting birth parents.
s01 e005 | choosing adoption: why (open) adoption?
On the podcast this week, listen in as we talk about how we chose adoption, why we chose open adoption, and our advice to families considering it.
We're stoked to share with you!
s01 e004 | dating, not dating & getting married: our epic love story.
This week join us as we dive into the love story of Ben & Brooke.
These are Ben’s most favorite planners! I use Full Focus planner by Michael Hyatt. Each planner helps get you into a daily routine and a habit of goal setting on a yearly, quarterly, and daily basis. Click the images to go their site!
s01 e003 | facing limitations: discovering Brooke isn’t a superhero.
This week we dive into limitations and learn what it's like living with chronic illness.
To check out the icebreakers we use at the beginning of each podcast, and the Best Self Planners we love, click the Best Self logo to get our favorites!
s01 e002 | Brooke’s chronic illness: what does that even mean?
On this episode, we dive into what chronic illness is, and how it affects our lives.
To read more Spoon Theory mentioned in this episode, click here.
s01 e001 | welcome to The Bonus Years :discover what The Bonus Years are all about.
On this episode you will get to know Ben & Brooke, and discover what The Bonus Years are all about.
Head here to read the blog.